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July 10, 2005
Neither Relaxed nor Rejuvenated
This weekend was too short for all that was packed into it. There was the family situation, 12 hours of driving in two days, and so much traffic. Really, though, how much can I complain when I am for the most part insulated from the bulk of responsibilities right now? My grandma and the generation right above me (my aunts, uncles, and parents) are really involved and play a much larger role than me in all of the goings on with my grandfather right now. I have no right to stressed. I will say, however, that I am very sad.
I saw my grandpa again today and he was great. I don’t understand the mind at all. In some ways his responses to the environment are really slow-and then he will say something really witty in which he demonstrates he quite clearly knows what is going on. I really wonder what he thinks about his illness. I didn’t ask him about it because who wants to talk about that (a really serious conversation) in a roomful of people? I said good-bye to him and then for the first half hour in the car I was trying not to cry. My sister and I didn’t really say anything to each other at first and then we talked.
I was also thinking about the advances in medicine that have occurred. Without modern day medicine all four of my grandparents, my great aunt who was there this weekend, and possibly my parents, would already be dead. I’ve been on a lot of antibiotics throughout my life for various things so without those I might be dead too or grossly scarred from infected cuts. I would hardly be able to walk because I wouldn’t have had foot surgery to remove a bone growing through my big toenail, my arm would be gimpy b/c it wouldn’t have been set right after a HS accident, and I wouldn’t be able to see much without my glasses/contacts. My brother, who tore his ACL, wouldn’t have had surgery, and would also be gimpy. Etc. etc. So in many ways I guess we are lucky to have had so much (ungimpy) time with each other already.
Also, after my mom has told me that SHE wasn’t responsible for giving me my bunion (which is genetic) I found out my great aunt and lots of other relatives have them so it was an AHAH moment.
That’s kind of it. Today is a rest day from exercise. I wish I could run or bike sice I am so stressed out (yes, I am stressed even though I said I shouldn't be) but that wouldn’t be good for the knee. I am off to do some work and/or clean my room so I can start the week with a clean and organized slate. Have a good one.
Posted by Audrey at July 10, 2005 07:14 PM
Comments
Don't feel bad about not being overly involved now...you have taking care of your parents, future kids, and the pets you don't like now but will begrudgingly come to love in the not too far off future.
Posted by: Rob at July 11, 2005 09:47 AM
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this sad time. I know there's very little one can say but what I can do is take you out sometime to clear your head and de-stress you! ;) Let me know when you want to hang out!
Posted by: Nanda at July 11, 2005 01:45 PM
Medicine has done some amazing things for people. Its kept families together for a little longer, and we should all be grateful for that. Sometimes I forget that all the medicine in the world won't change the end for all of us. It reminds me to appreciate what I have right now.
Posted by: Jon in Michigan at July 11, 2005 01:56 PM